i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
