I am spending my child support on dildos
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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