the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
