Just fell off a train. Bad.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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