its not stalking. its research.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
