I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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