my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
whose parrot is this?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
