Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
