thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
