Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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