wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
