I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize