i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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