I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Rumble strips road head = magical
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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