My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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