I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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