best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
