i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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