Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
