oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
