If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
