Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
