I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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