My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
