the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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