Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
