tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
