I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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