I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
