Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
