Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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