im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
