JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
