speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
