We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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