if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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