lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize