I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it glows. i had to have it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
