I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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