So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
