he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
