my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
