Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
