Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need water and some morals
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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