i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize