my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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