so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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