Yo dont text me then not text me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We're using joints as your birthday candles
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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