I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
