you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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