I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
