Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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