new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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