Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
