i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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