At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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