the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
