First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
