Duck Duck Cougar?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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