Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
