Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
