is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
